Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
