I didn't shave. On purpose
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
