Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
