I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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