i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
