he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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