While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
