Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
