this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
