this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
