I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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