she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize