Buhtt sex?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
