Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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