They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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