shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
