Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize