gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
