haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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