I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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