Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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