Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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