I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
