she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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