You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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