I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I didn't notice because vodka
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
