so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
