she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
