im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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