The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
