I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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