At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
