there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
