great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
