dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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