is your mom at the bar?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
