Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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