I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
