whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have post one night stand depression
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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