I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
