i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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