i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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