btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
