My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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