OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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