covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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