But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
