Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.

Fav 17 3911 846
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.

Fav 11 881 3552
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(718): View more from New York

We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.

Fav 14 1525 4957
share tweet
(479): View more from Arkansas

Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.

Fav 17 4442 1143
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(270): View more from Kentucky

He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.

Fav 8 984 3551
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar

Fav 6 3203 1056
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?

Fav 7 4689 1046
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".

(651): View more from Minnesota

I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does

Fav 0 676 548
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers

Fav 0 26 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT