Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep

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  (908): I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep http://tfl.nu/s4hd
  Replies (41) Good night (1370) Bad night (4049)
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  (347): View more from New York

  k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza

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  (347): k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza http://tfl.nu/rg2w
  Replies (31) Good night (1078) Bad night (5331)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...

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  (540): The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress. (703): So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then... http://tfl.nu/ildr
  Replies (9) Good night (4055) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.

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  (443): Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest. http://tfl.nu/68lv
  Replies (22) Good night (5551) Bad night (3420)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"

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  (623): You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!" http://tfl.nu/z3ws
  Replies (10) Good night (4162) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7

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  (207): I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7 http://tfl.nu/thj7
  Replies (15) Good night (6506) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.

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  (715): I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs. http://tfl.nu/tciw
  Replies (3) Good night (2074) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  fair point

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  (630): oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us (1-630): fair point http://tfl.nu/efw3
  Replies (8) Good night (1887) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I think a kid would responsible me up

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  (906): I think a kid would responsible me up http://tfl.nu/vbco
  Replies (16) Good night (685) Bad night (2067)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.

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  (502): I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch. http://tfl.nu/8g67
  Replies (5) Good night (1157) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers

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  (402): I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers http://tfl.nu/eskp
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.

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  (201): Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off. http://tfl.nu/s8w5
  Replies (10) Good night (368) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.

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  (503): She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations. http://tfl.nu/6ra3
  Replies (7) Good night (461) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask

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  (917): It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask http://tfl.nu/rcu9
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (756): View more from

  i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry

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  (756): i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry http://tfl.nu/es94
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (226)

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