I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.