Having a random hookup so left but love u
im six kinds of drunk right now
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.