She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
