90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.