Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.

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  (214): I wish you were here to vomit in your hand. http://tfl.nu/my7z
  Replies (4) Good night (745) Bad night (2022)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.

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  (308): i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me. http://tfl.nu/ln0p
  Replies (18) Good night (4390) Bad night (785)
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  (626): View more from California

  Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

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  (626): Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is. http://tfl.nu/41jw
  Replies (24) Good night (18434) Bad night (1145)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single

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  (203): The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single http://tfl.nu/a7um
  Replies (13) Good night (5166) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.

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  (303): I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/2lff
  Replies (62) Good night (6512) Bad night (814)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?

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  (330): this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants? http://tfl.nu/rwj9
  Replies (12) Good night (6200) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.

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  (917): I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home. http://tfl.nu/9xms
  Replies (13) Good night (5905) Bad night (1028)
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  (650): View more from California

  That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.

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  (650): That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in. http://tfl.nu/qyvf
  Replies (9) Good night (2466) Bad night (1291)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.

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  (228): Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park. http://tfl.nu/g3vi
  Replies (11) Good night (1765) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?

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  (719): If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies? http://tfl.nu/dbdn
  Replies (9) Good night (1928) Bad night (656)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.

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  (716): The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West. http://tfl.nu/935n
  Replies (6) Good night (1311) Bad night (560)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.

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  (440): I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy. http://tfl.nu/x3g5
  Replies (4) Good night (775) Bad night (306)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.

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  (864): Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that. http://tfl.nu/xcwk
  Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.

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  (613): So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night. http://tfl.nu/3s94
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age

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  (845): I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age http://tfl.nu/0z3v
  Replies (0) Good night (205) Bad night (116)

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