why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
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That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
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You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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