I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You can't motorboat a personality
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
