I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
