remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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