lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
