This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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