I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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