did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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