Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
