I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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